The following episode has been vetted and approved for public consumption by NSA inspector 451.
Scares abound this week, true listeners! Murder, nightmares, things that go bump in the night, and worst of all – COMMUNISM. We are three feet from a socialist oblivion, people. The commies are knocking at the door, but only so they can distract you as the army of spiders, scorpions, maggots, and other gross creepy crawlies they have trained into a mindless army sneak in your back door and give all of your hard-earned goods and pay to the state! That’s the future we are all looking at, unless we can unite as one, raise our voices to the sky, and bellow, “Fix us, Dr. White Cosby!” If we’re very, VERY lucky, he just may answer the call.
Worry not, for in the interim, White Cosby has travelled the breadth of space and time to cure the ills of this present-day world. The doctor puts on his gray jumpsuit, picks up his can of pesticides, and tackles such issues as:
- How do I deal with pests like scorpions, spiders, bats, and dingleberries?
- Is it disrespectful to theorize about the death of a classmate?
- Should I be concerned if my wife is muttering another man’s name in her sleep?
- Have the communist (sic) already won?
So snuggle up with your favorite household pest, grab a magnifying glass, and get ready for all of your problems to be solved!* And be sure to stick around until the end for another World Famous White Cosby Movie Review, this time for Roland Emmerich’s latest stinkburger, White House Down!
*If those four questions stated above are your only problems